it's been so long since i blogged..

it's been so long since i've blog.kinda busy with exams prep. i need to rant. so here i am. ranting. as usual isnt it?

alright. dahei said im too strong. so strong that noone can enter my life. but sorry, i cant bring myself to be weak. i have to be strong and i must be strong. i must be stronger and stronger as each day passes to face all kinds of challenges.

but im angry. so angry with myself. cos i am no longer that strong. i realised i cant take it anymore. im gonna explode. im bottling the whole world up. right inside this tiny hard which is the size of a fist.

i fell once. and i couldnt stand up strongly anymore. it was a bad move, that i took, that i trip, and fall...to my death. i thought i had stood up. i thought i had become stronger. but no. im not. im drenched in tears that noone can see. blood is all over me. i killed myself when i took the road of being independent.

i cant turn back anymore. i have to carry on, being independent. i cant be weak. because that wont be me anymore. i cant cry, cos that's weakness in your eyes. i cant die, because i'll hurt ppl around me. i cant be sad, cos i'll make ppl around me sad. i cant fall, cos im supposed to protect the people around me. i cant sleep, cos im thinking about everything every single sec.

who can let me sleep in peace?

right now, all i can say is that i will not fall. i can do it. im gonna be stronger and stronger. and to my dear friends, i'll be there if you need me. if the sky falls, i'll carry it on me so that you all wont get hurt. and to people out there, you can hate me and dislike me, i dun care. but if you bully my friends, i wont let you off.

lastly, i just wanna say...
dear friends,
i love you.

and to my dear family,
i have always loved you all.
just that you didnt know.