Birthday?

Okay, I wanted to do a birthday post, but then stupid blogger is taking a very very long time to load the pictures, so I decided not to do it anymore. But there are a few people I would like to mention, and firstly, that is Fandi.

She gathered all the well wishes from my friends and placed it in a sketch book style, I really really appreciate it. It was a present I really yearn to have since I was young, and she somehow, could read my mind so wonderfully. And she made this super mega huge card for me, really wanna thank her sooooooo much. And it's very me, to cry when I sense this kind of sincerity. It makes the world pause for a minute and everything seemed so beautiful. I'm glad I got to enjoy a flawless world for a moment.

Secondly, Yunjing, my lovely neighbour aka kuai zi.

I really appreciated her efforts in luring me down from my house to the playground and she sang a birthday song for me with her sister. I'm sorry that yj's hair got burnt when she was carrying the candle with her hands. but i really appreciate the effort that she spent into making me feel so loved! Greatly appreciated it!

And of course, I wanna thank the rest who remembered my birthday too (: and thank you Ms Tea for your photoframe, Kanglin for the care bear and ben goh for the funky ornaments and jiajian for the mini basketball (:

Birthdays has always been very empty and meaningless for me. It didnt feel like a celebration, but more of a obligation. I felt uncomfortable with how sometimes people may force an action without knowing the essence of it, and I do sense the emptiness in these occassions. And I had to say, sherm's bday party kinda got me starting to love life again. That it's so wonderful when your family really hope that you'll have the best 18, and hope that you'll enjoy your day. But of course, not everyone is as lucky, and I'm one of the few who's birthday gets forgotten by their families. It wasnt generation gap anymore, it's like a detachment.

Maybe I'm oversensitive towards these issues, but I thought, family always comes first. I really didnt like the fact that I was asked to go away so you could have your share of horseracing. I thought you were over it long time ago. I didnt want to remember those childhood horrors, they are really bad, and I really wanna put it behind me. But it comes back once in a while and I find it so hard to move on. My foot is as good as steel, and my heart is as good as a shell with maggots inside.

So dear friends, I'm so glad that you spent effort to work on my present. I really felt loved by what you've done. I actually forgotten my birthday, I was thinking abt it before it came, and I kinda thought, it's already over on the day before. I have a huge liking for cakes despite my huge resentment for overly sweet stuffs, but I really love cakes. And thank you yunjing, you gave me the first 18th birthday cake before the clock struck twelve. I hope you know it really means alot to me. And Fandi, thank you for the wonderful present that I've been waiting all my life (somehow), you know it means so much to me cuz I found a meaning back to my life. And I'm dedicating my life to my friends. I really wish to plan birthday parties and celebrations for my friends and Im gonna do it with a sincere heart. Not cuz of custom or obligations, but I really wish you will be truly happy on your birthday.

"Happiness is a by product of an effort to make someone happy"