A bad job done

I wont cry, as much as I would like to, inside..
Crying, perhaps, attract attention?
Gain sympathy?
So, I wont cry, as much as I would like to, inside..
I just needed to forgive myself.

All the rantings,
all the complains,
was just to bury the pain inside.
What was the truth that lies inside?
Who else know, but me, deep inside.

Inside,
as the word suggest,
IN-side, who can see through it?
Who can understand?
Who would pry it open, just to hear it out?
These walls around,
built with so much effort,
who would take it down,
unless it's just takes the effort of a thumb-press.

Conscience wont let her go,
it rips her mind, her heart,
it blocks her thoughts, traps her soul,
how,
to let it go?

Talking within,
clearing up doubts,
sorting out thoughts,
paving the path to the light.

Found the light at the end of the tunnel,
trying hard to make it to the light,
hoping that stamina wont fail her ambitions.
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The shirt, Team Dunman High shirt, wasnt a shirt to impress the student body. It wasnt for the purpose of fashion statement. Afterall, the only reason why I joined SC, like I said during the EP campaign, was that I just want to make life better for everyone, and for myself. I couldnt take it, when I see my friends, feeling upset about staying in Dunman High. I didnt want them to miss out on what normal JC students get. Which is why, Make A-Div-ference was initiated. Perhaps, it didnt make a really big impact on the students, I'm very apologetic for that. Though I hope that, the students felt that, things were changing, and change was the only constant now. The banner, was to allow the student body to recognise the people, who trained so hard, sweat, blood, pain, and that when they see them in school, they would say "jiayou!" to them.

As for the shirt, it was to create an identity for the sports people in dunman high, we are all training hard together, just for one goal, to prove ourselves to the outside world. During your training, you wear your jersey, like what the adidas quote was " when you win, you wear your shirt with pride, when you lose, you wear your shirt with pride" I interpret it as, respect your identity, if you dont, others wont. So I appeal to all, the shirt was made to serve the general opinion, white was an issue, but white was simple, yet nice, the start of something new, a clean start for one and all. Gold in white, makes gold plain and dull, the white shirt seemed plain, but look closer, it's gold, the words DUNMAN HIGH is in gold, for a reason, we will shine, one day. Perhaps many cant see it, perhaps many other schools wont see us as a JC school, but one day, when they look closer, they might realised we would have overtaken them? Just like the shirt, looks plain, but it has the colour gold on it, representing hope and shining through the rest. And of course, the word athelete refers to all, we are atheletes, and we are proud to be one, to be a Dunman High Athelete.

I know this is a blog that not many would read, should any have read, do explain to your friends, and team, the true symbolism of the shirt. It is, the start of something new.

Also, maybe they might feel that it's done in a unprofessional way, I admit, and I am truly sorry about it, but the intention of the shirt, was never to prove that SC is doing something for the school. It was more than that superficial level, it was the love for my fellow schoolmates, i really feel darn cheesy for saying that, but that was my intention to join SC, so that my friends can benefit as much as possible, maybe the change is slow, but at least, it's taking place.

All that feedback that I've heard, thank you, for telling me.
I would not make those mistakes if I take on another project.
Dunman High, FTW!
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I couldnt say that it was a bad week, because all the falls, Team Dunman shirt, results, conduct and emotions, were all because of me.

Although I was so stressed out by Team Dunman shirt, i used alot of my energy and time to do it, to talk to the uncle, and coming up with a design that i hope that wont get alot of complaints (which still happened anyway), having nightmares that seniors and friends scolded me for the shirt, waking up in the middle of the night before my common test paper to do the design and think and all, I still didnt do a good job.

Although I tried my best to use all my free time to do my homework, to study, to revise, and not even watching tv, and didnt really talk to my family, and trying to stop myself from sleeping in class, and trying to absorb everything to my fullest ability, and getting tuition for myself, I still failed and didnt do a good job.

Although I tried my best not to be late this year, which I think I really improved alot, from reaching school at 11am last year, to reporting to school everyday, from being late 9 times a term to once a term and twice the other term, and i was late this year twice in a week because of i was too exhausted, and when i reach school, im at the side of the parade square, didnt dare to walk in to my class, and national anthem just started only, I was still considered late, and my conduct was dropped and I didnt do a good job again.

It wasnt a bad week, it was just a bad job done.