why?

happiness.

who doesnt want it?
i admit, i do yearn for it.

i think too much,
i know too much,
thus causing this emotional state that i've been in for sucha long time.

now,
i dun think that much,
i look at things as it is,
i tried not to probe and see things too clearly,
but why,
why is happiness still so faraway?

i appreciate everything in the world.
my family, friends and everything.
im so glad that i belonged to this world.
but why?
why cant i get happiness?

i know im fortunate, im lucky,
but i dun count my blessings.
im trying to,
but why is it that, i just simply dun count?

there's just so much things on my mind,
and i dun even know where to start.
sometimes, i really need a shoulder,
however, when i have that shoulder,
i just dun want these nonsense to dampen the mood.

i cant bring myself to do anything.
i dun even know who i am anymore.
who understands?
who cares?

i tired,
of hiding behind this mask.

a mask that shows laughters, happiness, strong, independent and blah blah blah.

i need to stand up again,
and again,
and again, and
IT GOES ON.

great