confidence

hmmm. today was surprising indeed. had my first physics lesson of the new chapter. missed previous lessons due to competitions(dun mention that to me anymore) den my first lesson was actually the end of the lesson. my dear mr hong say SURPRISE TEST. COOL. i was only there for the summary? and i had to do the paper by learning everything during the paper.

den there was biology test. which was surprising too. because ms koh thinks that the way we sit for exams is cute. =.= and the test was surprisingly wordy. which i hope i didnt flop.

today was surprising again cos cindy is so happy. it's surprising too cos my class mortal knows who her angel is. it's surprising too cos there's spot check. but wad surprised me most is GOLF.

when we reached laguna, they said RUN. ok. run den. i wanted to slack. but i couldnt help feeling so useless. so i ran and ran and ran. those st pat guys are kinda erm... dunno how to describe.. after that is hit ball time. den said told me, that i have no confidence. that im too conscious of myself. he says i've got what it takes. and if im determined to do it, i can do it.

yes. and that kinda inspired it. i needa do something. i cant carry on like this anymore. i learnt a painful lesson in bball. i cant let it happen again. i gotta do it. it's like making me think maybe i could have play. maybe i could have improved. maybe i could have do it for them. maybe... loads of them.. confidence.. where are they?

how do i search for it? how do i do it? how do i find myself back? i never felt so not confident before. i never felt like this before. it's indeed surprising.

i've reached 100m. time to go for 150m. even if it takes me my arms..